Lately I have desired to move forward but really seemed I was moving backwards. In my morning prayers I cried out to God and He began to speak to me about somethings and being obedient to what He said I am writing this.
Over the years I have had leaders that mentored me, great men of God I saw many lives changed around them. There was a sense that wherever they walked God was there and something was about to change, something was going to move. It was great being apart of what God was doing with these men. One of these men was Bertist Rouse a man after God’s own heart. Bertist started IGO International Gospel Outreach and I was the first missionary with IGO of which I am a member now. Bertist was a great teacher his messages were simple following a 1,2,3 etc. steps. Mostly about being a disciple of Christ and missions. God healed people at his services and called people out to serve the Lord. It was really great to be with Bertist. One of the notable traits he had was the discipline of daily devotions and worship. I loved Bertist but he had flaws spats of anger I marked it up to his problems with diabetes, sugar highs and lows. The other flaw at least with me was his misjudgment and being influenced by some people who spoke evil of me, sadly he believed their lies and we fell out of fellowship. This has been a painful event in Crystal my wife and my life. But through it all we learned much.
The next person who was my mentor was Isidro Galindo. It was amazing to walk with him, you just knew God was going to do some great thing around Isidro. I went on many trips with him and saw people healed marriages restored, people called out to ministry and new churches established great great acts of God. And like Bertist, Isidro had flaws I loved Isidro also but at the end we fell out of fellowship for some of the same reasons as with Bertist, people influenced Isidro to discard me and the ministry Crystal and I had built. This again was very painful to us and we suffered a few years through these broken relationships. Both of these men are dead now gone to be with the Lord. I was privileged to walk with them for a time. I don’t mean any dishonor to them God used them greatly and they were special men but just that, men. Flawed men just like me. I find myself wanting to do great things for God but drag this body of flesh around with me, inferiority complex, and character flaws I struggle with and want to change. A great desire to be a servant leader but so limited by my character, education, some dyslexia and some physical restraints. BUT GOD!!!
I have spent much time thinking on these things and wanting to be used of God I have read much on leadership great men like John Maxwell and others. I have wanted to better myself build my character study and become a great man of God also, but one without so many flaws, but find myself full of flaws terrible flaws in my character. I have great visions of planting churches in all the world but these visions seem so far away and how could God use a weak and flawed man like me. As I prayed this morning I remembered these two great men of God who mentored me and just like they were with flaws I find myself. I don’t assume to to compare myself to them they both were giants of faith to me men after God’s own heart and that is what I desire to be a man after God’s own heart
As I weep before the Lord this morning, my cry has been, use me Lord in spite of all my flaws. God uses flawed men. We contain in us in this clay the Spirit of the Living God to him be the glory and honor. If I (we) can learn to follow the lead of the Holy Spirit then God will use us. I don’t discount the plans and strategies of great men of God. Leadership is important and I continue to listen and read about leadership but when it comes to planting churches and missions it really all comes down to hearing from God. He will build His church!!! I just want to be apart of that. Like my mentors I make mistakes when I listen to men and not God. But also like them if I am lead of the Holy Spirit miracles happen, people are saved, healed, called into ministry and churches planted. With all my flaws God is God and He is my God I (we) are His sons and daughters.
May we really be lead of the Holy Spirit of God!!!
